life good,not really.

Hello Everyone,Hows life?Life seems good for everyone...
For me?I seems good also,but actually its not.
I feel lonely,I feel like i dont know where am i.I just cannot forget her.
People always said,Its as easy as how u change ur clothes.How come people can let go anything so easily,
But i cannot.Everytime i look at the hp,i hope i get the msg from her.I hope i know what she doing.But this thing wont become reality....I use to think about what happen for the past 2 years.for me,I think its 1 of the sweetest moment we ever had.1st day we together.until now.I can imagine everything that happen in my mind,everything still fly inside my mind,how i make u angry,happy.and all those.Now everything in my mind is u.I think about chili or tomato,Yam,Sunny day, and all the memories that we had been go through together.Really so easy let go? I cannot do it,god ,please guide me.If you god knows,my tears is dropping now.I cannot forget her.She is like my everything.Its not the problem of cry,Its the method how pain is my heart.I want to look at her picture now,BUT i don't dare.I really afraid that i will go and stalk her everytime.I really afraid all those thing will happen. I don't want to be like a sozai.i act happily whenever i go,i smile,laugh,BUT i cannot forget u.Don't think because my body is big mean i very tough,I am so soft hearted. I want to smile I want my heart to be happy,But when i think again,All those thing only happen when I with u.WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!I FEEL SO PAIN!